But where does this kind of advice leave us, exactly? Is approaching women and pretending not to notice that they’re annoyed actually a good idea? I mean, where’s the line between confident guy and annoying lech?
“Whenever I go actively seeking seduction as a primary motive, I usually end up going home alone,” says Colin, an attractive actor. “My most successful ‘seductions’ have been moderately random, when I’m relaxed and genuinely interested in something relating to the woman.” Still, Colin concedes that teaching shy guys to be more confident and deserving of whatever women they’re attracted to “is not a bad thing.” As Colin says, “Many of us will not talk to that ‘hot chick’ based simply on the feeling that we’re not good enough.”
My friend Peter, meanwhile, is irritated by the very notion of seduction instructors. “I don’t believe in tricks or gimmicks or any of the crap these guys recommend,” he says, relaying a time he was at a wedding with a hair model and one of these coaches, “a big loser,” says Peter, “was all alone and jealous.”
There are others who agree with Peter. As my friend Veronica says, “I’m a fan of mystery [note the lower-case m], so I like it if a guy keeps himself a little at arm’s length.” And my friend C.J. says that if she’s not immediately attracted to a guy, he doesn’t stand a chance.
So, is this seduction instruction thing a waste of time and money, or the answer to a lifetime of the cold shoulder? I guess it depends on the guy – not to mention the girl he’s after. But a class could at least help remind men that sometimes all you need to do is try. In these days of appropriate behavior and mutual respect, we women can go months without even being flirted with. And, apologies to the PC police (not that I imagine many of you readRazor), but, take it from a woman — being pursued with a light, playful touch feels good.
Take the way Cameron treated me. “Here’s my number, in case you decide you want to go on a date,” he said as I was leaving, and though I don’t imagine that happening (I’m not going to date a dating instructor, even if we could sell the rights to our story and make a mint), he did manage to make me do a complete 180 simply by keeping up his end of our verbal bantering without getting defensive or letting me intimidate him. And if other men who might otherwise walk right by or sit in silence can learn that in a class, I say sign on up.
Then, once you’ve got the flirting thing down, we can cry together over Beaches all we want.
