Anna David

TMZ, Tom Sizemore, Thomas Jane, and Me

4 Comments — Posted on December 26, 2011 by Anna


Hope you lovelies had a nice Christmas. This post, of course, has nothing to do with that but is instead a brisk summary of end of the year news, which included my next book—with Tom Sizemore—being announced to a wave of surprisingly nice press as well as the thought, from the Chicago Sun Times, that it “could make for one of the juiciest Hollywood star books in recent memory.” It also included a riveting interview (riveting because of him, not me—i.e., the person pressing play and record) with Thomas Jane. It also included (includes?) exciting! New! Events! Coming Up! Really Soon! like this one for All The Single Ladies at Word Bookstore in Brooklyn on January 5th at 7 pm. And this one on How to Change Your Life (or at least hear about it) at Lolita (266 Broome St., NYC) on January 9th at 7:30 pm. There are more—like this one!-that I’ll be mentioning more down the line.

Oh, and yes, I was on TMZ. Why, I’m still not sure. But I was leaving a comedy show with my friend and we were having some deep, philosophical discussion about the meaning of life or maybe I was telling her how good the fries I scarfed during said comedy show were but suddenly I had a camera in my face and my friend was running away. I experienced a confluence of emotions because part of me was thinking, “Wait, you’re supposed to be mean to TMZ, right? Because they’re invading your privacy?” But the other part of me was all flattered that anyone who worked there even knew who I was. And, while I wasn’t aware of quite how Muslim I looked with my scarf over my head, I was a bit flustered so I didn’t get into the somewhat controversial theory that foot fetishes begin with absent mothers (children sexualize the image of their mom always walking away from them) but I did tell him how I was disturbed to find photos of my feet on WikiFeet. It’s probably for the best that this didn’t make the cut.

Is Sex Addiction Real?

2 Comments — Posted on December 12, 2011 by Anna


So I wrote a story for The Fix that’s up today about something I’ve always felt unsettled about and finally felt like it was time to discuss (meaning write about): when I was diagnosed as a sex addict. For reals. With all the chatter about sex addiction everywhere, I felt like having had this experience gave me a unique qualification to say that yes, it’s real and no, clinicians can’t go around telling people they have it. (I did, by the way, once try to write about this before: I spent almost a year working on a novel called Sexual Healing about a guy who’s so obsessed with a girl that he hacks her computer and discovers that she’s going to a rehab for sex addicts. Thrilled, he shows up there, thinking they’ll spend the whole time in bed, only to discover that she’s actually a sexual anorexic and the place makes them do all this crazy hitting-chairs-with-felt-bats and cradling stuffed animals stuff. It’s actually one of my favorite things I’ve ever written but I was advised to quit trying at novels and try my hand at non-fiction instead. But! Before I abandoned the project, I read a section of it—the filthiest section of it—at Rachel Kramer Bussel’s now defunct In The Flesh reading series.

The Meaning of XO In An Email

3 Comments — Posted on December 10, 2011 by Anna


Years ago, I wrote a piece for The L.A. Times about the significance of putting “xo” in an email. I’m writing something else on a similar topic so I just looked for it on my site and realized it’s one of the pieces that got lost in the shuffle as I transitioned from one website developer to another. But luckily it’s still up on the site at the Times. Of course this whole thing only leaves us stuck with one question: Who at ADA is up for teaching “Inappropriate and Appropriate Uses of XO in Email”? Professor Chi Mike has excelled as a hashtag instructor so my sense is that he may be the best bet but I’m definitely open to other nominations.

Alec Baldwin Removed From a Plane?

4 Comments — Posted on December 7, 2011 by Anna

Yes, people, the 30 Rock star was apparently kicked off a plane because he was trying to play Words with Friends on his phone. Or maybe that was a cover for the fact that he was sending his girlfriend and some other dude a creepy Twitter message? Well, actually it seems that he was being verbally abusive to a stewardess flight attendant (how calling someone your attendant is considered more PC than calling them a stewardess, meanwhile, is a mystery to me).

This isn’t quite a Steven Slater hooray for the man moment but I do have to hand it to the flight attendant for actually shutting him down. I’m so used to seeing celebrities get treated better than everyone else (there’s nothing like being at Soho House in LA and being told you have to leave to use the phone before watching Macy Gray have a half-hour phone conversation next to you) that it’s oddly comforting to hear they were making him follow the rules. I know, Alec can be hot headed and once called his daughter a pig—an incident that I, randomly, once discussed on TV (just looked for the video, couldn’t find it). But I have to say that never seemed that crazy to me—my dad has a horrible temper and has said far worse to me. Isn’t that just sort of how dysfunctional dads are? Also: I once, quite randomly, had an interaction with Alec Baldwin and he was so incredibly kind. So there you go. Not sure what my point is except that the world is full of shades of grey. And also that I’m glad I never jumped on the Words with Friends bandwagon since it always screamed addictive to me. And also that Alec may not be the biggest jerk of the day since at least he didn’t send an email novella about getting a second date that screamed Asspergers (ass + Aspergers).

What’s a Woman Without a Man?

1 Comment — Posted on December 2, 2011 by Anna


It’s an important question that Dr. Paul Hokemeyer asks on the Doctor Oz site, mentioning Falling for Me in such a genuinely touching way that I’m still smiling. The question could obviously just as easily be asked in reverse for you fellas.

Here’s the story, Morning Glory.

Is Tobey Maguire a Gambling Addict?

3 Comments — Posted on December 1, 2011 by Anna

Honestly, I don’t have any idea. And I thought this was an excellent point: “Just because someone loses $100,000 doesn’t mean that person is a gambling addict. If you can afford to lose the money and it doesn’t damage your life, it is considered a hobby—or, at worst, a bad habit. The problem is when people continue to gamble despite horrible consequences.” It was made by Dr. Timothy Fong, who’s the leading expert on gambling addiction. Addiction is never about numbers; in the same way that you can’t call someone an alcoholic because they drink X number of drinks a night or because they’ve gotten Y number of DIU’s. It’s about the obsession and the consequences. And we can’t read people’s minds to know how much they’re obsessing over something, which is one of the many reasons why we’re not equipped to diagnose them.

Point is, I learned all about gambling addiction doing this story and it’s up on The Fix today. Visit and comment, why don’t you, so Joe’s not the only one who comes off smelling so pretty today?

Meanwhile, despite becoming addicted to so many of the things with which I come into contact, I’ve never had a gambling thing. Call me a saint or just call me cheap.

Anne Hathaway Is Engaged!

4 Comments — Posted on November 29, 2011 by Anna

Now look. I’m not into trampling on people’s happiness. But isn’t it at least a little weird that this is a girl who spent four years with a swindler (albeit, a cute, Zach Braff-resembling one) who went to the slammer for (coincidentally) four years for funding, among other things, trips to the Dominican and medical bills with and for his “then girlfriend”? I mean, don’t actors have great insurance through SAG and thus don’t need fake rich Italian con men to pay their medical bills and aren’t they paid enough to pay for their own trips to the DR? But I digress slightly. My point is that she then joked about the ex on SNL while the corpse was still warm and then, two seconds later, found her fairy tale love. It’s just fascinating how people will believe whatever they want to believe. Taylor Armstrong has been wholly implicated in all things Russell because she comes off as crazy and shallow (and, to be fair, potentially a pathological liar) while everyone had oodles of sympathy for poor, shocked Hathaway. I’m not saying that Hathaway is guilty—at all. I’m just constantly fascinated by our collective impression of things—where sympathy goes, our societal belief in fairy tale love, and our continual insistence on things being black and white (i.e. he’s a swindler, she’s a victim or they’re both swindlers!) rather than the far more realistic way of thinking, which is that everything is sort of shades of grey. You know what I mean?

Kourtney & Kim Take New York…

4 Comments — Posted on November 28, 2011 by Anna

…and with it, our collective brain cells.

Seriously, what’s there to say about the premiere of incarnation 3,670,999 of the Kardashian clan—a clan that, in my humble opinion, didn’t need to be televised once, let alone the zillions and zillions of hours of television and brain cells we’re never going to get back?

It isn’t original to say this, of course. And I’m someone who has, by her own admission, participated in some semi brain cell killing TV. But I had a small—admittedly very small—glimmer of hope in my heart that after the most expensive (and money-making) fake marriage of all time, we, the world, would look at each other and go, “Okay, maybe it’s not worth caring about these people any more. They’re actually—well, kinda dumb.”

Look, the Kardashians seem nice. At least from what I could tell from the one episode I watched while I was on the elliptical and couldn’t find anything else to watch on the attached TV. But they live in a very, very silly bubble where all that matters is photo shoots and appearances and chilling in their big houses. Of course they seem, unlike many other families who choose to have their lives televised, to like each other. That is good. But their collective intelligence and value system is not safe for television. Seriously. Especially at a time when conspicuous consumption is at its most egregious and people with incredibly intelligent and valuable things to say are struggling to make ends meet.

So here’s what I say: anyone who watched last night’s Kourtney & Kim premiere should be required to read yesterday’s New York Times piece about Ronald Lauder and the way the 1% avoids tax penalties.

[Full disclosure: this was written by someone who spent last night catching up on The Real World: San Diego. But it's different, I swear. I learn from that show.]

A Black Friday Promotion

Comments Off — Posted on November 23, 2011 by Anna

GET TWO THREE PRESENTS AT ONCE!

If you’re currently single or ever were single, there are two books that should be required reading: Falling For Me and Haiku For The Single Girl. Both witty yet heartfelt, the two—alone or in tandem—will not only make you laugh and potentially cry, but they’ll also provide the perfect antidote for the single gal or guy who’s with the family today, dealing with several different variations on, “You mean you haven’t met anyone yet?” from well-meaning family members and friends.

Though we, the authors—Anna David and Beth Griffenhagen—can’t lower the prices of these books, they’re each about $10 so as books go, they’re pretty damn affordable already. And in honor of Black Friday, we’re providing prizes for every single person who orders them*. In short: if you order these two books at any point on Friday, November 24th, 2011 and forward the receipt to anna at anna david dot com (along with your mailing address), you will be sent something fabulous. Some of the available prizes are:

Harper Perennial cloth bags

“I Fell For Me” cloth bags

“I Fell For Me” t-shirts

Copies of Sex and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown (the impetus for Falling For Me)

Nico artisan crafted black scarves

JR Watkins Rejuvenating Foot Cream

Surly Girl notebooks and cardholders

International flight tags from Flight 001

A $50 gift card from Benefit

A card to throw a beauty party for you and your friends at Benefit — LA ONLY — $800 value**

AND MORE SPECIAL UNANNOUNCED PRIZES, TOO***

*Want a second prize? Once you’ve read (and, ideally, loved) these books, review them on Amazon, then let us know the same way you told us you ordered them and receive a second prize in the mail.

**We take—and hope to be able to honor—prize requests. Get in there early to get the goods you want!

***We love you international types but alas, this is for U.S. residents only.

 

A Shocking Break Up

3 Comments — Posted on November 22, 2011 by Anna

It is with great sadness that I must write the words that Ali Fedotowsky and her fiancé Roberto have broken up. If these names mean nothing to you, you have no idea how much I respect you for the fact that your brain has not been dumbed down by all the meaningless information mine has.

They are, for the uninitiated, a couple who met on The Bachelor. You know, that show where people find true love.

Well, except for the 99.9% of those on the show who don’t. Here’s the rough tally from hollywoodlife:

Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi. Jake and Vienna got engaged on the show, but broke up in June 2010. They pretended to stay together for a month longer to keep up appearances — but Vienna was soon seen out with Greek star Gregory Michael.
Jason Mesnick and Melissa Rycroft. Jason proposed to Melissa, but broke things off with her a month later to marry runner-up Molly Malaney!
Lorenzo Borghese and Jennifer Wilson. This couple didn’t get engaged, but stayed in a relationship for a few months. They split up in January 2007.
DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak. Jesse proposed to DeAnna on The Bachelorette. DeAnna dumped Jesse so that she could pursue a career in Hollywood.
Jesse Palmer and Jessica Bowlin. They did not get engaged. They broke up in 2004, just months after the show ended.
Andrew Firestone and Jen Schefft. Andrew, the third Bachelor, seemed to be so in love with Jen. But they broke up. They are both married to different partners today.
Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski. The couple ended their engagement in 2010. It’s rumored that Jillian couldn’t handle other girls hitting on her man.
Andy Baldwin and Tessa Horst. Andy and Tessa called off their engagement in 2007, but remained a couple for a few months after before throwing in the towel.

Also that Brad Womack guy who kept going on remains, I believe, single.

The most interesting part of this, to me, is that the fact that a couple WHO MEET ON A TELEVISION SHOW DESIGNED FOR RATINGS AND NOT FOR ROMANCE would ever get together at all. I believe in true love (still!) but I believe that true love is not a Disney or Mike Fleiss manufactured arrangement—that it takes patience and humility and a whole lot of things that you cannot have WHEN YOU ARE IN THE CENTER OF A MEDIA SPOTLIGHT WITH A RELATIVE STRANGER for it to remain and flourish. Especially when the two people are getting attention for, probably, the first time in their lives. The lure of fame can have more power than the lure of love. Of course this kind of coupling can work out but it can also work when a couple meets while building a fence at a Renaissance Faire.

So I say we should only report about these couples when they stick it out. Give them a two year marriage and if they’re still together, then we write about that. Emkay?